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Have a laugh ...............

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Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Thu 19 Jan - 15:16




I became a professional fisherman...

But discovered I couldn't live on my net income.



The first time my son was on a bike with training wheels, I shouted, "Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!"

He nodded but still rode straight into a bush.

"Why didn’t you push back on the pedals?" I asked, helping him up.

"You said if I did, the bike would break."

I am not short...

I'm just more down to earth than other people.

A photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the lady of the house. She looked at the photos and commented, "These are great! You must have a good camera."

He didn't make any comment, but as he was leaving to go home he said, "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."

I have decided to RETIRE and live off my savings...

Though I'm not sure what I will use the second week...


My college son texted me a request for additional funds. He ended his text with "PLZ".

I asked him why he used the abbreviation. He said it was shorter than writing please.

I replied with, "No."

He asked why. I said it was shorter than writing yes.



"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sabbi ~ Moderator on Mon 30 Jan - 21:20

:lagh: :lagh: :lagh:


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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by toetapping on Sun 26 Mar - 22:14

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Sun 26 Mar - 23:42

:wlol:

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.

Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"

She replies, "Soup and ice cream."





"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by iowakansas2006 on Mon 27 Mar - 2:41

:wlol: :rolling:
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sabbi ~ Moderator on Mon 27 Mar - 14:00

:wlol: :rolling: :wlol:


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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by toetapping on Mon 27 Mar - 23:20

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Tue 28 Mar - 0:02

:gigbun:



"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sabbi ~ Moderator on Tue 28 Mar - 11:38

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by toetapping on Tue 28 Mar - 22:53

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Tue 28 Mar - 23:30

These are great...keep them coming :gigbun:

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!" -



"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by pat4 soul~mate on Wed 29 Mar - 13:02

👏 :gigbun:
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Wed 29 Mar - 19:16

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV, it's a microwave!"



"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by toetapping on Wed 29 Mar - 22:10

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Wed 29 Mar - 23:29

ROTFLMBO

:gigbun:



"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by pat4 soul~mate on Fri 31 Mar - 12:23

:bunlol:
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by toetapping on Fri 31 Mar - 21:17

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Fri 31 Mar - 22:33

:gigbun: Is it my turn soon :pinkele:



"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by pat4 soul~mate on Sat 1 Apr - 16:34

:bunlol:
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by pat4 soul~mate on Sat 1 Apr - 16:35

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by toetapping on Sat 1 Apr - 21:08

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sheka ~ Owner on Sun 2 Apr - 0:02

:OMG2: these crack me up :gigbun:



"Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that mans'  shoes *Elvis*
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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by toetapping on Sun 2 Apr - 20:59

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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by Sabbi ~ Moderator on Sun 2 Apr - 21:20

:bunlol: :gigbun: :gigbun: :bunlol:


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Re: Have a laugh ...............

Post by pat4 soul~mate on Mon 3 Apr - 13:26

:bunlol:
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