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 Craker jokes

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Imbrutus ~ Co-Owner
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PostSubject: Craker jokes   Wed Dec 12, 2018 4:06 pm

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose

Got a Christmas card full of rice today , I think it was from my Uncle Ben.

Two snowmen were standing in a field. One said , "Can you smell carrots?"

A man walks into a bar ...ouch

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve"

What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm

What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time? One day my prints will come

When do vampires like racing? When it’s neck and neck

What’s a dog’s favourite carol? Bark, the herald angels sing

What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner? Twerky

What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes

What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack

What do you give a dog for Christmas? A mobile bone

Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Father Christmas in a revolving door

What is Santa’s favourite pizza? One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!

What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

What do you call a train loaded with toffee? A chew chew train

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days

How do snowmen get around? By riding an ‘icicle

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy

What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can't beat it!

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette

What has four legs but can’t walk? A table

Why did Santa have to go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf

What do frogs wear on their feet? Open toad sandles

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrr!

What do you call a blind reindeer? No-eye deer

What’s round and bad tempered? A vicious circle


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Sabbi ~ Moderator
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PostSubject: Re: Craker jokes   Wed Dec 12, 2018 4:43 pm

:lmbo: :lmbo: :lmbo:


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